Tuesday, January 16, 2007

This Rant is brought to you by the letters P, M, and S.

And yeah, I'm 48, and my body has heard rumors of that menopause thing, but has decided not to participate. So I'm bloated and cranky, and the object of my wrath is Knitters Who Live to Knit.

Get a fucking life already, you are creeping me out.

KR, through no fault of its own, has of late attracted some really seriously obsessed knitters. Like, they must have nothing else going on in their lives knitters. When I see a thread entitled, "Am I a Real Knitter?" or "You Know You are a Real Knitter When...." I do not read it, because I know that it will cause such a surge of snark to rise up within me, I might blow out a a valve somewhere. But seriously folks....

If your first thought when asked what you do is, "I knit," and you are not on the staff of a knitting publication or writing a book (please, God, not another Qwik and Eeezy Knits for the Knitter Scared of Everything) that really is sad. If there are extenuating circumstances, of course this does not count, if you have a chronic illness or are otherwise confined, it's fine. In fact, it's healthy - far, far better than staring at daytime teevee, certainly. I knitted up a storm while sitting in the hospital with my husband, it kept me from jumping out the goddamn window on more than one occasion. But if you are in good health and able to do other things, and yet you self-identify as a Knitter, first and foremost, and care about this more than anything, please, seek professional help, call Dr. Phil, do something about your sorry self, because that just ain't right. This is a hobby, not a vocation. Nobody other than other knitters really gives a shit, and you are getting your validation from people with the same level of crazy you've got. It's like the knitblog world is a crack house. Naaah, you're not addicted, because you are LIKE ME!

And when people like Laurie - and she's not the first and won't be the last - feel like they have to apologize to the internets for not being a Fabulously Prolific Knitter, because she has other things to do, there is something wrong. Knitting all of the time, carrying it with you everywhere, freaking out if you can't knit when called to jury duty and must do something awful and alien to you, like, I don't know, Read a Goddamn Book, Maybe? That is not normal, or healthy. Laurie is normal. You, OCD Knitter, are not.

I really, really wish I could rant about my working life, but I am cautious, because my mortgage company has become dependent upon those monthly checks. So this will have to suffice as my letting off of PMS steam for the month. Until tomorrow, when something else pisses me off.


Martha said...

Miz C
Appreciate your tho'ts re all of us knitters having a life - that is so Very Important.
As someone who is not a prolific knitter & as someone who does not have oodles of time to knit, I treasure the time I do have.
Good luck w/your workplace.

Geogrrl said...

I know, I saw Laurie's blog today. I enjoy knitting, it preserves what's left of my sanity. But really; some people need to get a grip.

I knit in my *ahem* copious spare time, and even working hard at it, it takes me a week to make a single sock. Because I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO DO.

I was shocked that there were people out there so obsessed with knitting that they were giving Laurie a hard time over what she does/does not knit.

Laurie seems like a sweet person and takes the time to write a fantastic blog. When she blogs about knitting, it's icing on the cake. Laurie actually does have the skills to move on from scarves, but doesn't want to. So what? Entirely up to her.

I kid you sometimes about knitting only Flat Things, but really, it's your business. I'm here because I enjoy your writing and sense of humour.

Some people need a good smack.

Amie said...

Since I suspect you won't see it, wanted to send you to this link, which I'm sure will get me flamed ad nauseum.

And I'm okay with that.


Amie said...

Two additional thoughts:
1. about the KR thread, it's nice to see that most of the people swearing there was no hostility were the ones saying "I resent that you're telling me how I can spend my money"

2. about this post - I ALWAYS make a point of telling my students that I am the only one in the room for whom this is a vocation. If they plan on coming back, terrific, and if they work on knitting between now and then, even better. But since this is how I make my living, and not how they make theirs, I will never give them grief for not having done "homework" or practiced or anything between classes. It's a hobby, and as such NEEDS to take a back seat when the rest of life gets in the way. LIFE needs to come first. The hobby just needs to stay enjoyable.

Amy in StL said...

Knitting has gotten me through a lot, too. It's my primary hobby, however I can't imagine calling it a vocation. If I did that I guess I'd have to make sweaters that actually fit the wearer they were intended for, eh?

Kerstin said...

Is the knitblog world a crackhouse or ... a whorehouse? I can never decide. ;)

Catherine said...

Crackhouse. A whorehouse MAKES money.

Jan B. said...

I'm 51 and still no menopause. Waaaahh! Enough already!