And yeah, I'm 48, and my body has heard rumors of that menopause thing, but has decided not to participate. So I'm bloated and cranky, and the object of my wrath is Knitters Who Live to Knit.
Get a fucking life already, you are creeping me out.
KR, through no fault of its own, has of late attracted some really seriously obsessed knitters. Like, they must have nothing else going on in their lives knitters. When I see a thread entitled, "Am I a Real Knitter?" or "You Know You are a Real Knitter When...." I do not read it, because I know that it will cause such a surge of snark to rise up within me, I might blow out a a valve somewhere. But seriously folks....
If your first thought when asked what you do is, "I knit," and you are not on the staff of a knitting publication or writing a book (please, God, not another Qwik and Eeezy Knits for the Knitter Scared of Everything) that really is sad. If there are extenuating circumstances, of course this does not count, if you have a chronic illness or are otherwise confined, it's fine. In fact, it's healthy - far, far better than staring at daytime teevee, certainly. I knitted up a storm while sitting in the hospital with my husband, it kept me from jumping out the goddamn window on more than one occasion. But if you are in good health and able to do other things, and yet you self-identify as a Knitter, first and foremost, and care about this more than anything, please, seek professional help, call Dr. Phil, do something about your sorry self, because that just ain't right. This is a hobby, not a vocation. Nobody other than other knitters really gives a shit, and you are getting your validation from people with the same level of crazy you've got. It's like the knitblog world is a crack house. Naaah, you're not addicted, because you are LIKE ME!
And when people like Laurie - and she's not the first and won't be the last - feel like they have to apologize to the internets for not being a Fabulously Prolific Knitter, because she has other things to do, there is something wrong. Knitting all of the time, carrying it with you everywhere, freaking out if you can't knit when called to jury duty and must do something awful and alien to you, like, I don't know, Read a Goddamn Book, Maybe? That is not normal, or healthy. Laurie is normal. You, OCD Knitter, are not.
I really, really wish I could rant about my working life, but I am cautious, because my mortgage company has become dependent upon those monthly checks. So this will have to suffice as my letting off of PMS steam for the month. Until tomorrow, when something else pisses me off.