Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Surviving on the validation of strangers on the internets.

The wise comments below got me thinking about this, and how it seems, from where I'm sitting, to be largely a Chick Thang. I just don't see men doing this, at least not in the same way.

This knit from the stash thing is just the latest variation on things taken personally for no damn good reason, and I've been trying to come up with a scenario in which any man I know would act this way. I can't.

Men are just as capable of being jealous and bitchy as women - trust me, I've worked up close and personal with them for my entire career, they also gossip way more than we do, but I digress.

Women (some women) respond to perceived challenges to their decisions and perspective in a way men don't. If a man does something that makes another man question his own choices, he may be openly jealous and now the other guy is and always has been a real asshole. He may be secretly jealous and decide he has to have that Harley or flat abs or better job or whatever and compete with him. He may be secure and a grownup, and admire the Harley and get on with his life.

But whatever way he responds, and women have the same patterns as men most of the time, there is one thing I've never seen a man do - take on the public attitude that the Other Person Is Only Doing This To Make Me Feel Bad About Myself. I have seen this so many times, it has become to me an archetypal response of my gender, and damn, it disgusts me. It is the root cause of the Mommy Wars - hell, it broke out on my old blog, and my baby is 23! You're not allowed to say out loud on the internets that you were a happy working mother who raised functional kids, because it Invalidates MY Choice to Stay Home! Oh, the comments you'll get! I had to have been miserable, or someone else can't be happy with her choice.

This Knit From the Stash Snit (Wendy, you monster - the blood of yarn shop owners is on your hands!) is just a variation on "She lost weight just to make me feel fat."

I do agree with Bess, there's a lot of sheeple jumping on the bandwagon, writing "contracts" with so many weasel clauses they either are lawyers or should be. I think the risk of yarn shops going out of business is somewhat exaggerated. The rest of us will use up our stash until we are no longer burdened by it, and life will go on.

And now I must go work out, because you know, I'm only exercising to make you feel lazy! Mwah-ha-hah!


Anonymous said...

I'm reading Hamlet. It has nothing to do with the story. I just want to prove what an elite person I am.
No, really. Do you actually understand humans? I don't.

KatyaR said...

I think it may also have something to do with women being more emotionally attached to and emotionally protective of the things that are important to them. One local blogger I read is absolutely terrified that her favorite LYS is going to go out of business because no one will buy any yarn in 2007 and that's just mean and soooo wrong!!!

My reaction--take a chill pill, sweetheart--even if 10% of all the world's knitters don't buy yarn this year, no one will go out of business.

Debi said...

Honestly, I don't give a rat's heiney why everyone else is doing it, I'm doing it because I have a whole lot of yarn that deserves to see the light of day...It doesnt do anyone any good in my dark closet or under my bed, I want to use it to creat something beautiful!

Catherine said...

Me too Debi, I have entire projects I bought because I really, truly planned to make them, and then put them aside for this other thing I really, truly planned to make, and on and on. It's time to visit the Land of Abandoned Projects!

Kerstin said...

Just shut up and do it became my motto last year. Works for me! I pulled back on everything, esp. the blogging and the commenting. I decided to stick my nose in my own stash and make of it what I could. I couldn't be more content. You know, the me-too-me-too crowd only grows larger every year. Currently, it's the “I want to take better photos so let's make it a group thing” that is keeping me amused. Oy, JUST DO IT. It's not hard, it just takes time, patience and a bit of dedication.

Oh and the stash? I've been knitting the stuff I really want and giving away the rest. I'm not of the mind that just because I bought it, I have to knit it up. I figure if I could afford it in the first place and then could afford to let it sit for years, then I can afford to give it away. Truly freeing.

CursingMama said...

Boy did you hit that nail on the head. I try hard not to fall into it but admit that I have fallen(particularly in that weight loss one).

Quite honestly I don't know why people are worried about yarn shops with this whole resolution thing anyway - by March most of the resolvers will have realized the resolution was nuts and will be back in full buying form ;) -
And, for those that posess enough yarn to keep them yarn happy for a whole year - congratulations.

CrabbyLou said...

Trust me on this, they aren't going under, since there are those of us that still can't resist. I can go into a LYS, not intending to buy a thing, and then I see a lovely lime green and suddenly, I must have it. And for every knitter who decides to knit from their stash, there is a new knitter tht can't resist buying. It will all be just fine.

Catherine said...

Kerstin - I haven't hit the "take better photos" lemmings yet, but I am not surprised that they exist. I did do a spin through "Knit from your stash" via Google and got worn out fast. It's such a great idea and I'm gonna do it except that if it's a Tuesday during a full moon and Elaan is having a sale.... I just don't GET it. Nobody is telling anybody to do this. It was presented by Wendy as "If you feel like you need to...." it wasn't a command from on high. But it's becoming a fad, and now people who honestly don't need to do this because their stash is six skeins of sock yarn feel compelled to explain themselves. This blogging thing can become a field experiment in mass hysteria at times.