Monday, February 12, 2007

Having a Case of the Mondays!

If you can't name that movie, you are tragically culturally illiterate. Consult your nearest corporate dweeb for immediate assistance. We can quote Office Space far more easily than we can quote the Bible, Shakespeare, or even old Star Trek episodes.

Here is my Monday Gift to You: Despair, Inc.. One of the greatest parody product lines EVER. Yes, I work for a company that actually displays those awful, lame motivational posters without any sense of irony. I avert my eyes. If I had the money to waste, I'd buy a few of these and sneak in early and replace the weak decaf -instant -motivation with something with real flavor. Espresso motivation! Bitter espresso, but still.

I want this one for my office: Pressure.

I've seen them before but that catalog arrived in today's mail and Girlchild and I read them out loud while I was home eating leftovers at lunch and laughed until we cried. It's funny because it's so, so true. I was home eating leftovers because it is probably my best chance to eat lunch all week. I should be thinner.

I love Baby. Baby is the bestest. Baby is fun. Baby's AWD will be most useful on job sites. I realized today, when hopping into my shiny cute red SUV, what a burden that drab Altima of Bad Karma had been. I drove it for three years after my husband died, and yes, I do love having a new kitchen and I needed the new roof and the carpet was a wise decision, and all the other things I accomplished in the interim were good and I did the right thing and was practical and all that crap, but I never thought "a year or two" would turn into over three years, and getting that fucking car out of my life was like shedding another layer of the Bad Past. I want to keep the Good Past, but the years between 2001 and 2003 are the stuff PTSD is made of, not memories to treasure. Leaving that car behind was liberating.

And yes, I am still knitting. I finished another hat for Dulaan last night. I think I've done about 10 so far, and I have a toddler sweater on needles. I'm also working on a crocheted shawl and a cardigan for myself. And I have about three pairs of socks in half finished state.

I had a profound thought yesterday, at least it was profound for me, about the false sense of virtue afforded by Tidy Storage Solutions. In addition to having bigger houses, bigger closets and more rented storage facilities than anyone else on the planet, I suspect the US leads the world in inventions like The Container Store and its ilk - all promising ways to make your massive accumulation of shit you don't need look Tidy and Organized! Aren't you the virtuous one, because you spent even more money on storage units for the crap you already spent too much money on! Go, Consumers, Go!

I was looking for a more-than-half finished pair of socks, and never did find 'em. The socks are neatly stored away somewhere, because my storage is all tidy and buttoned up, but I have no fucking idea where those socks are. I found two other unfinished pairs of socks. But not the Lorna's Laces sportweights I wanted to finish up real quick to ship to my son, because it's damn cold in Asheville right now. And I grew disgusted again, not just with my stash but with the false sense of virtue I had in putting it all away in neat storage containers.

Whenever I move, wherever I move, as GAWD is MAH WITnuss, I will not move a shitload of Neat Storage Containers. My goal for 2007 is to get down to a stash small enough to fit in one small 18 gallon Rubbermaid container.

And on that note, I'm gonna go knit. And try to remember where I neatly stored those socks.


Kerstin said...

I agree with you, C, on those damn storage containers. I'm weaning myself off of them. Got rid of a few of them during my last clean-out and plan to dispose of a few more.

I just mailed off a large box of yarn that I no longer wanted. It feels great knowing that someone else will use it and I no longer have to store it. Less is more!

KatyaR said...

I've always wanted to sneak into the office and change those damn posters out with the funny ones and see how long it would take for someone to notice . . . .

Sue Woo said...

Hi C,

OT, but I spoke with my friend in Northern VA who said we can stay with her for MSW if we want to. She goes to MSW too. SHe's been a friend since 1970. Whew.

km said...

"Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams."
I can hear the smacking of the lips.

Catherine said...


Northern VA is a long haul from Howard County MD, and we'd miss all the after-hours bonding with Clara and BessH and Marfa and RoseByAny. Why don't we think about getting a suite and your friend can stay with us Saturday night?

Martha said...

Miz C,
Am catching up on blogs & reading yours is my number one for tonight.
~~ Loved "Dirty Dancing" & the name Baby is perfect for your new Red Baby. I had a Forester & liked driving it.
~~ Woo Hoo - you'll be at MD! (Who's bringing the bottle opener?) And Sue Woo too! More Woo Hoo
~~ Yes to a smaller Stash or as we can call it, the Resource Center. I am giving more away to friends who are new knitters & am trying to shop from my own stash as well.
~~ Your blog is part of my required reading every time I am on-line. Thanks for all your posts & I love all your cussing. You go, hon.

Sue Woo said...

Martha, I have a bottle opener in my knitting bag. I was a Girl Scout (still am) and I will Be Prepared.

Happy Valentine's Day, C.

We'll get a big ole suite. I can't wait!