The last few weeks have been filled with omens and portents, and none of them good. And this week has been only three days long but so loaded with bullshit, I am currently a headache-prone, constipated tooth -grinding insomniac on her way to full blown alcoholism. Heart disease runs in my family. I've gained nearly 20 pounds since coming to this company. If all of this isn't a sign of a life out of balance, I don't know what is. So it comes down to this - if the raise I was promised at my last review is in my paycheck on Friday, I may stay a while longer to watch the meltdown I see coming and stockpile some cash and laugh at the craziness. I could live on a quarter to quarter basis if the money is right. If they don't show me the money, it is time to disengage and give up on this bullshit.
If I pack it in, I will take off at least one month before really looking for another job, because I am really sick of the local job market and I want to get the house ready to put on the market. I am done with Florida, and if God is sending me a sign to leave, who am I to argue?
I have tried my best to make it work. I left my long-term job in 2003, after:
1. My boss was fired in a backstabbing boy game.
2. My job was changed completely into something I didn't want to do, at least not for them.
3. A lying snake sack of shit became general counsel for our region, because even though he was a lousy lawyer and a petulant brat of a human being, he knew which asses to kiss.
After I left, the very nice replacement boss and my former assistant were targeted for elimination, and then they were gone. I also found out that I was the lowest-paid paralegal in the organization, and had been lied to repeatedly by asshole general counsel. He's not in that job anymore, because after he ran off everybody who knew what they were doing, the Mothership finally figured out that he didn't have a clue.
Since then, everybody with a brain left. People who were there for decades have bailed.
So, then I went to the next job, staff legal at a big insurance company that used to employ a certain blogger I know face to face.
She worked in NY. She wasn't in our part of the business. I don't hold her responsible, but boy, do I have stories for her if she goes to MDS&W.
I was brought in with a specific job description that lasted almost six months before it changed. Then it changed again. Then again. I couldn't get the tools to do the job and in fact, the staff didn't know what the hell I was talking about when I used the phrase "Bates numbering." Each time, the change was in a negative direction. They were "too poor" to give raises or bonuses - but wait, it'll get better! There's a pony in here somewhere!! So I gave up and left after two years of promises and piles of horseshit.
To go to this job, with only a week off in between, during which I had my house re-roofed instead of taking a vacation. I was brought in with big promises of writing my own ticket. Then the woman who hired me got burned out and quit (I now see why) and the person who took her place didn't give two shits about our department. Then Jefe came in, but he's the new kid and not part of the club, so he has had to be patient and deal with How It Is. I can appreciate that, but that is him and I am me. I have been very patient with this crap. I work far above and beyond the job description of any paralegal on the planet, yet I am still paid a paralegal's salary and my title has not changed yet. I have not had a raise in over 18 months, and was promised a raise and promotion that so far has not materialized. They are stingy as hell about vacation time, and though I rarely take time off somehow my accrued hours never amount to anything. So, I will work long hours for good money and of course reasonable hours for reasonable money, but I wil not bust my ass for average money and no vacation time.
It is time for management to shit or get off the pot. I have been strung along long enough. Unlike the very annoying breathy-voiced twerp John Mayer, I don't believe in "Waiting for the World to Change." Fuck that. I gave them a full quarter to retool the department and then some. I ain't seen nuthin' from them, just hot air and more and more responsibility. If I don't see the promised raise in my paycheck on Friday, I am giving notice on Monday.
I wish I could describe the specifics but let's just say that the future's so dark, I gotta learn Braille.
And you know, I feel better since making this decision and saying it out loud. I'm willing to go with the flow if they pay me to do it, if they don't, I am not willing to hang around anymore and I will leave. It really is quite simple when you break it down that way. I feel in control, and quite calm about the whole thing.