Okay, so Murphy isn't really psychic, he just listens to every conversation we have and has a huge vocabulary, so sometimes it looks that way. He heard me talking to Girlchild after the doctor's visit, so he knew I'd been talking about exercising again, and taking him for daily walks again. Yesterday morning I was still in my pajamas when I pulled on a pair of socks. Murphy got very excited and followed me around, dancing and making his little snuffly talking noises - he knew what I was thinking and he knew what he wanted me to do for exercise. He wanted a W-A-L-K. Right NOW, Mom! Actually, Mommy was going to get on the elliptical trainer. He was disappointed and climbed into his bed and glared at me.
He had the last laugh, though, because 10 minutes on the elliptical trainer at a very slow gentle pace damn near killed me. I suddenly got lightheaded and had to stop. Maybe it's my age, maybe it's part of the brain blowout, but two weeks in a hospital bed has been a huge fitness setback, it's like I never exercised before in my life. I was fighting to shrink my butt and firm my abs before this, but my energy and stamina were very good. That's gone. I will have to work my way back to my 45 minute sessions at a fast pace over a period of time. So those of you who think I'm some sort of Wonder Woman can rest assured, I'm human and my body has reverted to panting, middle aged Jello at a speed that is truly scary.
So later in the day I took Murphy for a walk to the lake, and that was when I had the last laugh. Pork Roast got tired about a quarter of the way into the walk, stopped walking and stood there panting like the Little Engine That Couldn't, and and I had to turn around and carry his pudgy ass for part of the walk home. This was tiring for me, because did I mention he is no longer his trim 7 lb. self, and my muscles are now jello? Between my depleted strength and his increased girth, getting this handful of dead weight home was not easy. He got home and flatted his belly to the tile floor and panted like he'd just finished a triathalon.
So Murphy and I are both in terrible shape right now, and I have vowed to fix this. This is more than getting back into the skinny jeans now, this is a serious health issue and quite alarming. And Murphy? He turns 7 today (Happy Birthday, Porky Yorkie!) and has bad knees, he can't carry those extra pounds either, it'll take years off his life. So it's the Yorkie and Mommy Fitness Camp for the next six or so weeks, as we get our energy back.
May I rant about the cost of health care and the uninsured? I have insurance, thank GOD, but if I didn't, this SAH would have forced me into bankruptcy. The bills for my hospitalization and the ambulance and ER arrived. $179,000+, not counting the doctors' bills. I had four or five specialists involved in my care. I have not seen their bills yet, but it's safe to assume that the total cost of this incident will pass $200,000.
Here is the thing that gets me - my insurance company has a negotiated rate, so they take $100,000 off that hospital bill and pay the balance. An uninsured individual is billed for the full, inflated price, unless they are able to negotiate something on their own. When we talk about the plight of the uninsured, we don't always mention that. They are screwed coming and going - they have to pay for their own health care, and they get charged more than the big insurance companies.
When I talk to my friends about my future career plans, nearly every one suggests that I switch to contract/freelance work to lower my stress level. I am well-connected in the local legal community and I'm sure I could freelance, but I can't afford to do it - I need group health insurance. After this little incident a private plan would cost me more than my mortgage, if anyone would even touch me, and I also can't afford to be without - any future hiccup in my health and I'm screwed. I am one of the LUCKY ones - I'm able to get a job with good insurance and deal with this issue, not in the ideal way for my health and well-being, but I can keep myself afloat and attempt to insulate myself from disaster. I am lucky in so many ways, despite all of the things that have happened to me and my family in the last few years, I am able to deal with it. Millions aren't this lucky.
And this is why, when some of those ignorant right-wing bitches on KR start denigrating universal health care as "socialism" or whatever, I feel my blood pressure rise and I have to click away. Smug, ignorant cows. Rant over.
Knitting and memory loss - this is pretty funny. I have a few gaps in my memory, and one of them was knitting related. Since I got home from the hospital I'd been poking around in my UFO collection (which is actually quite small at the moment) looking for a scarf that I had been working on in the era Before SAH. Couldn't find it. It was driving me crazy - where was that scarf? I gave up and started a new scarf, because I needed something mindless and easy on my strained vision.
Finally, late yesterday, I figured it out - I couldn't find the "unfinished" scarf because I had finished the damn thing Before SAH. I have no memory of finishing it - in my mind it is half done and on needles. Even when I held it in my hands, finished, I couldn't remember finishing it. I am sure there are other gaps in my memory - I logged into my office email and couldn't remember half of the issues I'd been working on "before." But other than these small gaps of recent memory, all of my long term memory is intact, including things like friends' phone numbers and my banking passwords, so the memory gaps are just sort of funny. It could be much, much worse.