Some happy crap about how I would go back to work with a bright, shiny attitude?
By 10 a.m. yesterday, my right eye was twitching. As expected, nothing happened while I was gone. Everything froze for a week, because I wasn't there. Meetings were rescheduled, because I wasn't there. Things didn't move forward, because I wasn't there. No, I can't do this. This doesn't make me feel needed, or invaluable, it just makes me feel tired, and burdened, and like these people couldn't take a shit without my input. I am prunes. Or toilet paper. Whatever I am, it's a shitty job. And the biggest joke of all, to me, is that I am tired and memory-impaired and my already short attention span is now like a gnat with ADD, and They Rely on Me. It's scary as hell, isn't it?
Another thing I can't do anymore - Pilates. Oh. My. God. I wanted to mix up my exercise (which in this case means do something besides sit and bitch, because I haven't been to the gym in two weeks). So I pulled out my favorite Pilates DVD this evening, the Gaiam one, the intro to Pilates with Ana Caban. And I have done it many times, and it took me about 30 seconds to realize that the changes in my body aren't my imagination. I ain't got no core no more. I cannot find it. I did see a beach ball sitting around my belly button, I think that is where my core used to be, no more than a year and a half ago. This menopause thing is a bitch. It's like my body is inflating and melting at the same time. Oh, and I can't make a leg circle, my legs now do this weird spasmodic thing that is so not a circle. But I will persevere, because I am not a quitter, except of shitty stupid jobs. I will keep up with the Pilates, and update the resume.
Oh, and my war with the HOA continues, I will share that when I have time to organize my hostility.
The yarn I ordered for the Debbie Bliss Diagonal Jacket finally arrived - as I'd guessed, it had to be ordered, because nobody has that much of a single dye lot in stock. After I finish Cousin C's scarf and Boy's socks I'll allow myself to cast on. It was 92 today, there ain't no rush. Damn.