Wednesday, November 28, 2007

May You Live in Interesting Times.

I'm living in some damn interesting times right now, none of them blogworthy, hence the radio silence on my ever-so-fascinating so-called life.

So I'll propose a size issue instead. I cast on the Minimalist Cardigan (Interweave Knits Fall '07) and I'm using the Debbie Bliss Rialto I bought for a different Debbie Bliss sweater, which totally did not want to be that sweater, that sweater must be a cotton or cotton blend or it goes all flopsy on you, even in the first few inches of the pattern I could see that this was not the effect I wanted. Rip. I cast on the Minimalist Cardigan in the Rialto and LOVE the stuff in this pattern, it's springy and soft as buttah and a joy to knit with even if you have carpal tunnel and such. Just a sensual yarny pleasure. I have no beefs about the yarn.

But I'm only a few inches into the back and I'm having second thoughts - I cast on the 43.5 inch size, because the sweater is supposed to hang and not cling to the bustal region and even when skinny I am busty, but I'm now realizing that when finished it's going to swim around, rather than hang around, the bustal region. So though I am about 4 inches into it which represents a significant investment of free knitting hours in my so-called life, I'm going to rip it back again, and start over in the 39.5 size. I think that will be enough ease and I should do it while the ripping is easy, rather than when I hold it up a week or so from now and wonder WTF I was thinking?

The Big Purple Sweater has no such issue, it's Big and meant to be worn outdoors, and like the DB Diagonal Jacket the Rialto was purchased to be, I do love big comfy baggy sweaters. They make me feel all snuggly inside. But for an office/happy hour/cute casual sweater with 3/4 sleeves I would rather not look like I'm wrapped in an afghan, so I'm going to trust in God and my diet and assume that by the time I finish the 39.5 size, my bust will be appropriately and proportionately minimalized. So far, so good in that department.

Girlchild's first move out option fell out on them and it is all good, because the new option is much better, I think. Which is good, because I need to get this house on the market and priced to haul ass. I'll be lucky to escape the previous decade of my life with said ass intact, and I remind myself of this every day. Just to recap how the millenium has treated me:

June 2001: Husband diagnosed with terminal cancer
June 2001-July 2003: More shit than you would ever believe, resulting in nearly a year of PTSD dreams after he died in July '03 and left me exhausted and in debt to my earlobes.
2004: House hit by 4 hurricanes. New roof, much unexpected new debt. Debt now reaches eyeballs. Manage to find new job that pays more. Nose still above debt water, thanks to padding hard.
2005-2006: lots of work stress and drama and such, father died, crazy mother issues.
Surviving okay, even getting nose comfortably above debt water and occasionally turning on back to backstroke gracefully. I love the backstroke, I could do it for miles. The sky is looking a bit more blue.
Late 2006: bottom falls out of industry that employs me, and the freefall continues.
Early 2007: Collapse with ruptured brain aneurysm, brain surgery, no paycheck for two months. By the grace of God and a great surgeon, I live to go back to the place where I collapsed and pick up the oar again, because I had no choice.
Late 2007: Industry implosion continues.

I am past thinking about bailing out with a comfy next egg. I'm just thinking about getting out without losing everything my husband and I busted our asses for all our lives. Then I think hell, if I could just quit dog-paddling so hard to keep my nose above water, that would feel like a vacation. I'm going to calculate my break-even, debt free and with only the tiniest pot to piss in number and call that the bottom line. I'll go rent a window to throw it out.

When I started this new and improved blog in January of this year, the future was wide open - weird and insecure already, but wide open, and I chose the blog name with tongue firmly in cheek, thinking about how I really deserved an easier and more secure and maybe even a little crazy life. I got the crazy, without the easier and more secure.

I need a new blog. Or maybe I'll go back to the old one, as the Bossy Little Dog and I will have to saddle up to ride off into the vast unknown in 2008. I'll give this one a full year, then give it up - the title was intended as snarky Sweet Potato Queen humor, and turned out to be just ironic.

New blog name suggestion box is now open.


caroline said...

The millenium has thus far sucked for you except for the fact that you're still here to document it, girlie...
I, for one am damn glad you're still with us. And then there's the small matter of two incredibly awesome grown people that are walking around balancing out the assholes that abound...
as to the blog, how about
Bossy Little Dog and the Queen?

'cause you are, you know?

Donna said...

Hmm.. The Anti Cupcake? :)

sallyjo said...

"You can take that serenity prayer and..."
"Spinning wheel, got to go round..."
"Once more, with calm?"
That would probably be asking for trouble.
To riff off Donna - "No More Cupcakes?"
It's late. I'm getting weird.

ellen said...

On the theory that "Champagne and Chocolates" has brought you just the opposite: Fire and Pestilence. Really I think you've had as much excitement as a body can bear. It's easy to see why a change of scene is so appealing.

Amy in StL said...

I guess Beer and Lotto Tickets is out, huh?

Jeri said...

Hmm. I always liked Bossy Little Dog...

sallyjo said...

How about the obvious;
"Interesting Times."

Catherine said...

I'm in Interesting Times, I want to banish them and not tempt fate with another snarky SPQ kind of thing - Beer and Lotto has a ring to it, maybe if I'd gone with that I wouldn't have had such a wildly un-champagne dreams and caviar wishes kinda year. Or, I could go back to BLD.

In the meantime, I am puzzling over what I said that caused two of my small handful of Bloglines subscribers to un-sub in the same day. My hit count has dropped significantly in the last couple of months, too, and never came back. Maybe I should just quit wasting time on this blogging thing, and use it for, I don't know, working on my abs.

caroline said...

Nooooooooooo! We who value you would really like it if you'd stick around, literally and figuratively, yes?

Abs, schmabs, that's what the gym is for and it ain't no substitute for your sharp and pithy and yeah, sometimes pissy mind.

it's probably the cupcakes cleaning up their bloglines list, ya know?

ChelleC said...

Catherine, I never have subscribed to Bloglines, though I check your blog often for updates and love reading it. I just check my favorite blogs when I can.

Anyway, the name Bossy Little Dog fits YOU, as well as Murphy. It's just you. But that's my opinion, consider it for what's it's worth.

Jeri said...

I was thinking I was all smart, but I wouldn't have a clue how to figure out if someone subscribes to my blog or not. I just think its cool when I don't have red Xs instead of pictures or buttons... I visit your blog thru the link on mine... and you're still Bossy Little Dog to me... :)

Catherine said...

If you are are Bloglines subscriber, and I am, you can add your own blog to the list and it will show the number of people subscribed - either publicly or privately. And I have a hit counter that has dropped off precipitously in the past year since the aneurysm. I think that's because I didn't have a whole lot of Drama to say about that and I don't write about politics anymore- my opinions have not changed, but out of respect for my blood pressure I don't get into the futile online rants anymore. So I think that took out a few subscribers. I'm just curious about why the count continues to drop, and what I'm saying or doing or not saying or doing. I'm not going to change what I say to get traffic, I'm just curious.